The Juan Maclean
Robot Lover

Whether you're drunk or sober, walking or dancing, The Juan Maclean's electro-mess debut "Less Than Human" will give you every little thing you'll need to move your body in a new direction. With the backing production of LCD Soundsystem's James Murphy and Nancy Whang, "Less Than Human" is more than perfect. Perfect for making a riot on the dance floor.

Interview
with Juan Maclean

In your video, "Give Me Every Little Thing", how did it feel when you were beamed up out of the city street by the aliens? Did you blackout, was it uncomfortable, were you under sedation? Please explain...

That's been the most controversial part of this entire affair. As you know, I made the video to document this strange event, this 'abduction' or whatever. Yes, I had taken a combination of acid and ecstasy the night before while out dj-ing, but someone had slipped it into my drink. I did not take it on purpose, and it had completely worn off by then. I was only seeing trails at that point. All I know is I was walking down the street; I saw a bright light coming down, and then I black out. I have no idea how I got to where I ended up.

Once you woke up in your new surroundings your friend didn't really seem to care that you guys were there. Had he visited that place before?

This 'friend' as you call him is Jerry Fuchs, the drummer in The Juan MacLean. He acted as if everything were hunky-dory, like Bowie, so I didn't think anything was amiss at first. I thought to myself, 'what a night, I must have ended up at Jerry's somehow.' There is a conspiracy involved and to this day I am convinced he is a part of it, precisely because he denies any involvement.

Did you ever speak with any of the aliens? What were they like?

I only saw them outside, looking in. They seemed bemused, like children at a zoo watching the monkeys.

In the video you did some exercises for a little while. Do you exercise on a regular basis, you seem to be in pretty good shape. Can you tell us about your favorite exercise?

I do work out quite a bit. I'm a staunch believer in maintaining the highest level of physical conditioning. There are many forces at work around me, corruptors of the soul that require constant vigilance on my part to keep them at bay: girls, drugs, fast food, TV, energy vampires, etc.

I attend the gym regularly, but I also run on the roads a fair amount. Running is my favorite exercise, and it is something I spend most of my time doing either literally or meta- phorically in many areas of my life.

What were you thinking when those girls showed up?

I was thinking 'the one chick is too skinny, but that black chick is the most beautiful girl I've seen all day, and I could tell my girlfriend I got abducted by aliens and they made me get down with these girls, I had no choice, and they must want some- thing because they are in tiny little bikini's.' You know, stuff like that, the same sorta stuff that runs through my head whenever I meet girls.

You didn't seem to have a good time after you guys got all crazy. Were you ashamed that the aliens had just watched you or was it because of P.O.G (Post-Orgasmic Guilt)?

I don't care who watches; that doesn't bother me. But I am an Irish Catholic from South Boston, and I was trained at an early age to respond to pleasure and happiness

How did you end up in that room with all that virtual reality gear... Was it fun in there, you seemed to be having a much better time once you got there?

Well, obviously somebody knew that that was like my fantasy. Synth boffins recognize that I was sitting in front of like $20k in vintage synthesizer gear. I mean, I like girls and everything, but I seem to have

more luck with the buttons on musical gadgets, in terms of the end result. I've made some good records that will probably be around for a while. Girls, though, that seems to go bad not long after the knob twiddling.

If you could go back to that place what would you have done differently?

Straight away I would have taken out this coin I have - it's a trick coin with two heads - and said to Jerry "dude, let's flip a coin to see who gets BOTH girls, instead of us each having one. Better for one person to be totally psyched than to have two people mildly entertained. I'll take heads.' Maybe I wouldn't say it exactly like that, but that's what I'd try to do.

Do you have any advise for us if we ever got beamed up by other beings?

When they do the anal probing, and I'm not saying that shit happened to me because I'm not gay, but if they do, insist they use a lubricant.

Credits
 

Interview
Leonard R. Greco

Introduction
Justin Gagne

Stills photographed during "Give Me Every Little Thing" video shoot 8/05
Justin Miller

Special thanks to
Juan Maclean
of The Juan Maclean

Information, music and video can be found at www.thejuanmaclean.com [External website, leaving Velle]